Abram Sauer Online

The Awl posted a little note about how Gawker will now be offering employees the option of, you know, becoming actual employees. The interesting thing that came out of this announcement? In the comments, there was speculation that this change came about because former Gawker writer Sheila M won her unemployment case:

“This is due to Sheila winning her unemployment case, which must have resulted in the state government following up with Gawker to see why it wasn’t paying state employment taxes. Way to go!”

A few comments later, it appears this speculation is confirmed by commenter “Sheila M” herself:

“Hahaha. I’m going to go ahead and take some credit here for calling his ass out. Jesus fucking Christ Denton, I bet the IRS got real interested in your book-cooking and shoddy-ass legal counsel.”

If that’s true and Denton was not paying unemployment tax for any of his writers, it’s, well, shameful. This is especially true for a publication that cremes its britches over pointing out the employment condition failings of other institutions… such as:

• Calling restaurant owners “evil.“
• Having a laugh at Google’s policies.
• “Shaming” ALM over the conditions of its bathroom (Bathrooms!)
• Or, maybe best of all, listing “stupid corporate cost-cutting tricks.”

Of course this hypocrisy doesn’t include the way this kind of (awfully, awfully Republican!) activity fucks New York state in general (though that doesn’t stop Gawker from laughing at the “scumbags” in Albany).

Update: Doree puts the pieces together.

Pfffffffft. High unemployment? No jobs? WRONG. Check and mate.

Let’s start spending again!

Left: Tiger Woods with a Buick, the car that pays him boatloads of money for his endoresement.

Right: Tiger Wood’s Cadillac, which he crashed, thus ensuring the above Tiger Woods Buick sponsorship was worth much, much less to Buick.

Shrewd move Cadillac marketers. Shrewd move.

There are new developments in the ongoing investigation into the problems Grand Forks tattooists seem to have with pluralization. It looks like Li’l Rico’s has a new sign with the CORRECT pluralization of his services. Sadly, this correct version makes the wrongness of other two versions stand out even more. Sad.

When the Erin Andrews scandal hit, Deadspin immediately assumed a self-righteous, media-indicting positon, moralizing about the should/shouldn’t of online media and the sewer of journalism.

Today, the site posted a bunch of private, half-naked photos of Cleveland Indians baseball player Grady Sizemore. These photos were reportedly stolen from Mr. Sizemore’s computer. Deadspin received a letter from Major League Baseball asking that the pictures be removed (as they were stolen) pending an investigation. You know, like the investigation into the Erin Andrews tape.

The pictures are still up almost an hour after Deadspin editor A.J. Daulerio published the MLB letter. A.J. should maybe check with Tommy about the publication’s policy with regard to its shameless exploitation.

You stay class, Deadspin. And by classy, I mean hypocritical.

It appears the Salahi couple who crashed the White House dinner the other evening are looking to get paid for their story. Not surprising at all.

But others? Dumb:

Casey Margenau, a real estate agent and longtime friend of Tareq Salahi’s, said he had talked with the couple on Thursday. He said the investigation was “hard on them,” because the couple believed they “really were invited guests.”

“There’s a video out there of Tareq opening a champagne bottle with a saber,” Margenau said. “That’s him. That’s his personality. . . . They’ve always loved living large, always loved living in the spotlight. They have strong personalities and are very outgoing. Some people like that and some people really dislike it, so much that, well, sometimes people hate you when you’re like that.”

And:

“She’d always call and want to come in, but always expected Erwin to comp her,” [James] Packard-Gomez said, referring to his business partner at the salon.

Mr. Packard-Gomez said Mrs. Salahi called him just 20 hours before the state dinner to schedule an appointment. Mr. Packard-Gomez dropped everything, he said, even helping Mrs. Salahi arrange her now famous red sari. She mentioned having asked the White House if it was appropriate attire. But when he asked Mrs. Salahi to show him her White House invitation, he was startled that she could not produce it.

“My guests pretty much always show me the invitation when it’s the hottest party in town,” Mr. Packard-Gomez said.

It appears Casey and James did not read what I wrote weeks ago: “…if you know somebody, however tangentially, who may have been, for even an instant, in the national consciousness, by God do not just tell anyone about it. Send an email to tips@gawker.com”

Just look at this person named Ashley Samson. It appears she got $25,000 to tell the National Enquirer about Tiger Woods and Rachel Uchitel.

Casey and James are just cold talking for free to the Philadelphia Enquirer and New York Times as if they owe them something. They, and others who know the Salahis, are giving away what they could otherwise be making some vacation money on. Dumb. Very dumb.

While Foster Kamer and I don’t entirely see eye to eye on this autographed Palin book charity project mean, I am wholly supportive of the project’s end. That being said…

As for these literature lovers’ contention that the book is a threat to the practice? This book is no more a threat to literature or publishing than was Hillary’s or any other celebrity’s memoir. It’s probably not even less true. I would contentd that Gawker has done just as much, if not more, damage to journalism than Going Rogue has, or ever will, to “literature.”

But to drive home just how stupid all this Palin book brewhaha is, I direct you to the second comment in Kamer’s latest post on the drive:

Burning books. Excellent. So excellent he even approved his own comment. And sure, he’s kidding. (Or #KIDDING in Gawker terms.) But does the left ever care if the right is clearly kidding about its statements? Gawker writer Azaria Jagger clearly didn’t earlier in the day when he (she?) took seriously Glenn Beck’s remarks about Sarah Palin staying in the kitchen when Beck was clearly kidding.

Particularly in the Gawker case, I wonder how many of those who signed the Palin book even bothered reading it? I bet almost none. All of this holding up of Palin’s book for blind criticism around of which the liberal left can churn and giggle and bond is sad. It is pathetic.

I have Brandchanel all to myself today to run a special edition of the magazine’s Black Friday Live! coverage. Check it out. Posts should be along the lines of the below:

So you’re one of the strongest brands ever in the history of ever. How do you take an event that is already heavily branded (“Black Friday”) and co-opt and transform it to fit the needs of your own brand? If you’re George Lucas, it’s just another day:

“Dark Side Days at Star Wars Shop”

Get it!!??

Reated: The Droid, one of this holiday season’s hottest, most brand-loyalty creating products, actually, no joke, had to get trademark clearence from Lucas for use of the “Droid” name. And by “get” we mean “pay for.”

All branding professionals are just pedestrians in Lucas’ world.

Not your speed? Well, I can’t please everyone. Check it out anyway.

So we all know Larry King’s “thing” is his suspenders, women young enough to be his granddaughter, and hypocritical self-righteousness. But mostly suspenders.

It appears though that suspenders aren’t the only characteristic-shit-that-holds-up-my-pants tools in the King’s kit. Behold, the metal studded black leather belt.

Photo via: It’s Obvious.