Abram Sauer Online

Always.

This film will not meet my expectations.

Minneapolis, MN– Seven zombies and their attorney will be paid $165,000 under a settlement they have reach with the Minneapolis city attorney’s office… The protesting zombies were allegedly walking in a stiff, lurching motion, while carrying four bags of sound equipment that was projecting music from an iPod.

Will it be The Awl, Slate or Salon. Gooooooooo hometeam!

Left: Tough manly loner has unexpectedly unmanly butterfly tattoo. (Clooney, The American)

Right: Tough manly loner has unexpectedly unmanly butterfly tattoo. (McQueen, Papillon)

Also, after the jump, Clooney joins the pack of brooding back-tattooed actors (Penn, Liotta, Hawke)

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Hello genius. This is an email from the Colorado gubernatorial race. Full text after the jump but this is the best part:

“The McInnis Plagiarism Pen is a fine black pen with a rubber comfort grip, perfect for studying in school or writing the next Great American Novel. Best of all, the user will be constantly reminded of the importance of intellectual honesty.”

(more…)

Nick Denton Memo posted at The Awl: “There’s too much news on the web; and way too little explanation. Fully a quarter of the top stories are straight how-tos…”

A look at The Awl’s current top stories:

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Coming soon to Most Viewed:  How to Cheat and Plagiarize Your Way Through College

Somebody is sending Wisconsin legislators emails with child porn attached in hopes of setting them up.

“‘Do not put your faith in law enforcement to find us,’ the e-mailer wrote. ‘We are using tactics that make us untraceable online.’”

Whoever you are emailer nutcase, Andrew Breitbart has a job offer for you.

After The Awl blasted Human Rights Campaign over its failure to take action on Target and Best Buy support for Tom Emmer, ther HRC is finally making it right:

 ”We’ve drafted an open letter calling on Target and Best Buy to make it right by donating an equal amount to support fair-minded candidates who will fight for equality. We’re publishing it in a full-page ad in the Minneapolis Star-Tribune.”

Update: Target’s statement admits regret: “We are committed to doing better and regret that we have let down our team members and guests. We are evaluating ways to make sure they know the high value we place on our relationships with them.”

The Awl has been in many ways leading the coverage on this story. To read all pieces on Emmer, Target/Best Buy and the HRC:

A Profile of Tom Emmer and his claims

A look at Target’s $150,000 for MN Forward

A look at Target CEO Gregg Steinhafel’s Hypocrisy

A look at the HRC’s flawed CEI rankings

Of course, the question is, what if Target does not act? Will the HRC back down or will it dock Target points from its CEI rating?

Never was a city’s thoroughfare more appropriately named.