Abram Sauer Online

13. March 2010

I Ain’t got Time to Bleed, Think

Filed under: Gaaaah!, Failure, Elsewhere, This Could be Longer — admin @ 08:05

Proving that the new Predator film (Predators?) is missing the point entirely is the sneak peak over at the film’s site. In addition to starring Adrian Brody (?!), producers have gotten creative with the Predators themselves, adding more creatures like what I assume is Predator’s dog Fido, below:

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Part of the attraction of the first film was that it was a lone creaturethat was picking off the toughest, most beefed-up American heros ever. And using stealth to do it. Their guns and brawn were pointless in the face of this myserious enemy. And in the end it was intelligence and cunning, not muscle, to defeat it.

12. March 2010

A Charlie Brown Hangover

Filed under: Wisconsin, Tricky, Real America, Failure, Branding — admin @ 08:03

Something tells me this Beaver Dam, Wisc. bar isn’t a legal brand extension.

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11. March 2010

What’s Yiddish for FAIL: Israeli Ad Spoofs Hit Squad

Filed under: Gaaaah!, No No NO, Failure, Advertising — admin @ 19:13

Via the Telegraph, here’s a commercial from the Israeli supermarket chain Mahsaney Kimat Hinam spoofing the (probably) Israeli assassination squad hit in Dubai. Can you say, Clio!?

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This Thing is Like That Thing: Iron Man Plot Edition

Filed under: Gaaaah!, Failure, Brandcameo — admin @ 11:04

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Top: In the finale, Iron Man is forced to face off against those who would use his technology for evil. Iron Man

Bottom: In the finale., Iron Man is forced to face off against those who would use his technology for evil. Iron Man 2

10. March 2010

So, Everything in Haiti Worked Out… Right?

Filed under: No No NO, Failure, Elsewhere — admin @ 17:47

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It seems the media gave up on the Haiti story with even greater swiftness than anticipated.

Plus, the troops are already pulling the fuck out of there! Shock and Awe! SHOCK! AND! AWE!

7. March 2010

A Crowd that’s Never Seen “Rent”

Filed under: No No NO, Real America, Failure, Elsewhere, North Dakota — admin @ 11:02

Over at Say Anything Blog “North Dakota’s Most Popular Political Blog™” it appears they’re featuring content from past years. Like this 1991 debate about gays, AIDS and blood donation.

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Oh wait, what’s that? This is a debate from two days ago? Oh my. Good to see rationality and factual information have finally started making it to North Dakota.

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I have simply no idea why so much of the nation thinks about the wonderful Peace Garden State as an intellectual backwater full of hypocrisy about free living and individual rights.

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6. March 2010

Red Dawn Warned Us

Filed under: Tricky, Failure, This Could be Longer — admin @ 12:10

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Remember when The Wolverines were favorably compared with the mujaheddin? I wonder if after they were victorious and drove the Russians out they instituted some kind of draconian rule based on literal interpretations of ancient religious texts? Guess we need a sequel.

Related: Rambo III has the greatest action film finale ever.

5. March 2010

UW’s Badger Herald Editorial Staff Learning First Lessons of Page-View Journalism

Filed under: Wisconsin, Failure, This Could be Longer, Advertising — admin @ 09:06

Student newspaper The Badger Herald recently made the very stupid decision to run a Holocaust-denying ad on its website. The editor’s defense? “As much as I hate what I think Bradley Smith [the man who bought the ad] was trying to say in that ad, and as much as I hate what the Holocaust deniers are saying, they do have a right to say it.”

Um… I see a fine future for this Jason Smathers fellow; In the current climate who doesn’t want an EIC who will take any amount of ad money for any crazy thing?

Following last year’s “East Coast Jewish Honeys” rap, the University of Wisconsin-Madison student body is quickly redefining the campus from a hotbed of crunchy hippie liberal idealism to one of cultural intolerance and antisemitism. That’s not going to help property values.

Full Disclosure: I wrote various (terrible) articles for The Herald’s competition “The Cardinal” years ago just before the Cardinal, the “commie” student paper, went bust after a century.

4. March 2010

Further Signs of Our Downward Spiral: Monopolies

Filed under: Gaaaah!, No No NO, Real America, Failure, North Dakota — admin @ 22:57

Yes, the post office.. the employer of Mr. McFeely and my grandma (no joke).. is now an evil socialist entity that is to be here on out referred to in right-wing blog headlines as a “monopoly.” You know, like the socialist monopoly held by the police force.

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Watch the Product Placement Failure

Filed under: Failure, This Could be Longer, Product Placement — admin @ 09:00

travolta_breitling_ad.jpgA while ago I took a look at the Righteous Kill watch product placement screw up and noted how watches, in general, make for bad product placements.

It appears Breitling not only seems to not care about this but also, with help from John Travolta, has taken bad watch product placement to a whole new level. And, despite my earlier claims about why watch placements are bad — “The brands don’t show up and even when they do they are onscreen for such a short period that there is just no way an audience is going to leave the theater an hour later remembering if Capt. Awesome wore a Seiko or a Swatch.” — Breitling has engineered a plan to help audiences recall its brand. Too bad the plan sucks.

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